Self-Editing for Fiction Writers: Where the People Are

It's been a busy, busy summer so far, and I'm just beginning to reach the almost caught up stage, just in time for things to get busy again in a few weeks.  In the meantime, I've been doing a lot of reading and editing, during which one thing has stood out:  where the people are.  I don't mean missing characters, or where they are in relation to your setting.  What I mean is where they areas the action's happening.  

I've read a few books lately where characters seem to teleport into and out of scenes on a regular basis. You think you left so-and-so back in the restaurant, and suddenly they're in the thick of the action ... but where'd they come from?  Were they there all along, or did they just appear?  Readers need to know.

So, when it comes to self-editing, take a close look at each scene and/or chapter, and at the characters who appear in it.  Is it obvious that they were present all along, or are they lurking in the corners, doing their best wall-flower impressions, only to leap into the action when they're needed most?  Continuity is important, as it prevents readers from being pulled out of the story by awkwardness, and a little bit of attention to detail in instances like these can go a long, long way.

Self-editing for fiction writers: Starting over

Have you ever had one of those moments, when a manuscript gets rejected for what seems to be the umpteenth time, with a short form letter, and you think:  but I *know* this is good?  I think most of us have, and if you haven't, you're pretty damned lucky ;-)  Yes, there are famous writers whose work was rejected many, many times before it was published, but there are also those who went back to the drawing board, redrafting their work time and time again.  And that's where I'm going to suggest that you start again, from scratch.

I have a couple of short stories floating around in the moment, both of which were finished at the last minute (yes, even I don't follow all of the rules all of the time), which did manage to get shelved for a few days before that final edit, but something about each doesn't quite sit right with me, even now.  The one has issues primarily with the final scene, so I'll revisit that one another day, but this week's major writing project is the revision of second of these two stories.

This second story's premise is sound, the plot line is good, but it doesn't quite strike home the way I'd like it to.  My solution?  Rewrite the whole thing, from scratch.  I've got my notes, there's no dithering around about what happens, but I need to tell this story in a different way.  I'll likely keep the perspective the same, telling things from the point of view of the protagonist, but there are other details that I think should change, and which will change, if I can keep myself from referring to the original draft.

It sounds a bit odd ... after all, you've already written the story, so why re-write it?  But it can and does work.  You may not keep the second draft, but you may find that there are elements of that second draft that, when pieced together with the original, make a much, much better whole.  Sometimes it's just a change in perspective, other times it's a change in tone, different details ... the myriad ways in which the human mind works.  So try it out.  See what happens.  You just might surprise yourself with the results.

Self-editing for fiction writers: Character "voice" in dialogue

I sat down this morning, requisite cup of coffee in hand, to take a close look at a short story I'd written a few months back.  It's one of those stories, the ones that you know have a good character and good plot arc, but there's something a bit off that you can't quite put your finger on.  This particular piece has been workshopped twice, to a bevvy of wonderful comments, but the slight problem lingers, which irks me.

A close inspection now, after having shelved it for a few months, revealed a small, but significant problem:  the main character's voice wasn't appropriate in the dialogue.  She's in her early sixties, children grown and gone, a housewife (how I hate that term, but that's a story for another day) with little confidence in herself and her abilities, grew up in the late 50s, and is a consummate worrywart.

She doesn't say much, 28 words out of 727, and only two lines of dialogue, which was part of the problem.  Those two lines were significant, which had been my intention, but I hadn't looked closely enough at exactly what she was actually saying in those two lines.  And therein lay the problem.  She'd lost a bit of her lack of confidence (and for no apparent reason), her words displaying a surety about herself that she shouldn't have possessed (a surety I only caught when I went through and read the dialogue, and nothing else, aloud).  A few minor changes, along with the addition of a bit more nonverbal communication on her part, and I'm pretty sure the problem's solved.

Congruency and consistency across and within characters is important, so make sure, when editing, that your character's dialogue (and "voice") match the character you've constructed.  Also, because dialogue is meant to be spoken, it's a good idea to read it aloud.  If your character doesn't quite sound "in character," it's likely that they aren't.

Self-editing for fiction writers: Making description active

We've all read one of those books.  You know the kind.  The ones where the action is wonderful, the characters are complex, and you're hooked on the story.  There's just one problem:  the extensive descriptive passages that seem to have nothing to do with the story.

If you're like me, you spend a lot of time thinking about physical setting before you write.  I usually have a pretty clear idea in my head of what things look like, where they are, and how/why they're significant to my characters.  And I've been known, in first drafts, go just write a descriptive sequence, knowing that it'll have to be changed at a later date.  After all, readers will want to know what the setting looks like, at least to an extent, but I know that they're not going to want to read two pages of description of a character's apartment.     Your characters will need to interact with the setting, changing setting elements from active to passive.

That big, black leather couch under the window?  It shouldn't just sit there and do nothing.  It doesn't have to grow legs or do anything odd, but passive description can be wordy and awkward.  After all, it seems a bit weird to have Johnny come home, then say to himself, "Oh, there's my big, black leather couch under the window."  Instead, think of ways in which Johnny might interact with the couch.  Does he stub a toe on it as he goes past?  Does he fling his jacket onto it?  Shoo his cat off it?  Flop into it after a long day at work?  Any one of these changes the description from passive to active, and active's where it's at.

Passive description example

Johnny opened the door of his apartment and walked in.  There was a big, black leather couch under the window.  The silver blinds were drawn.  The coffee table was piled with newspapers and magazines.

Active description example

Johnny opened the door of his apartment and walked in.  He flung his leather jacket onto the couch under the window, then reached up to open the blinds, much to his cat's delight.  She hopped up onto the back of the black leather couch, surveying the outside world.  Johnny went to drop his keys on the coffee table, then thought better of it.  They just might get lost in the pile of newspapers and magazines.


Keep in mind, both of these are drafts, which I've deliberately left as such.  There's still a considerable amount of tweaking that needs to be done, even with the second example, but both should give you an idea of how to incorporate description more actively into your writing.

Self-editing for fiction writers: Point of view

I spent yesterday evening tinkering with a short story I'd been working on for a while.  Something about it wasn't quite working, and I just couldn't put my finger on it.  If you'd seen me, you might have thought me a bit bonkers, as I paced from one end of the house to the other, manuscript in hand, muttering to myself.

I didn't want to give up on the story, but I also didn't want to completely redraft the entire thing.  I took a close look at a few things, including scene structure and dialogue, but both of these worked.  What wasn't working, however, was the point of view from which the story was written.  There was a lot of action, but I'd originally written the story in third person, which is fairly common.  Shifting things around a bit, I changed it from third person to first person, using "I" and "me" throughout.  A bit more tweaking, and the story read much better.  I'm still not finished with it, but it's now far, far closer to seeing the light of day.

My self-editing advice, thus, for fiction writers is to take a close look at perspective, point of view, and narrative voice.

• Whose perspective are you telling the story from?  Does it work?  Might another character's perspective work better?
• What point of view are you using to tell the story?  If it's first, try third.  If third, try using first. 
• Look at your narrative voice, too.  If you're using third person objective, perhaps try using third person subjective or third person omniscient.

"Cornered" short story published today!

My short-short-short story (a form otherwise known as "drabble") titled "Cornered" was published today at The Were-Traveller!  This is the one I was griping about a while back ... I was stuck at 102 words and needed to cut two, managed to cut one, then spent an hour (!) tinkering with it to get that last word cut.  Thankfully, it's now found a good home, in esteemed company ... there's some awesome work available in this edition.  Go check it out!  You know you want to!*

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*Yes, I realize I've used my monthly allotment of exclamation points in one blog post.  Sometimes, you've just got to use more than one.